Update
Theres a boy.
We are in the talking stage, which is awkward of course. Doesn't help that talk sooo much when I get nervous.
school,
life is so confusing. It was easier when I was a kid, I wanted to be a dolphin trainer. Nothing else, I wanted a pet dolphin in my yard. And I wanted to meet free willy. Now I just want to be finiacially stable, where did I lose my soul along the path to life. I forgot about fun...and being happy. Nostalegia has hit me, I am a freshman at college and I miss my family.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Friday, December 25, 2009
Platonic
I have a goal for you.
I want you to close your eyes and remember something, someone, or a memory that makes you so happy you laugh, or smile...
Now hold onto that feeling and ask yourself what am I doing to make more moments like that, to keep that someone or something in my life.
I want you to remember that corny as is it is life is about these moments because the rest stays here on earth when you die.
Merry Christmas
I want you to close your eyes and remember something, someone, or a memory that makes you so happy you laugh, or smile...
Now hold onto that feeling and ask yourself what am I doing to make more moments like that, to keep that someone or something in my life.
I want you to remember that corny as is it is life is about these moments because the rest stays here on earth when you die.
Merry Christmas
Friday, December 18, 2009
Reality
Ever seen the movie reality bites, well I decided the title is very powerful and simple. Also extremely ironic that it's a movie title. Hollywood has strewed reality, created reality, and is a major player in the game of social construction. Reality is airbrushed models? fairy-tale endings? hitler killed (refrence to Inglourious Bastards which I personally loved)? gossip columns? I had this class in college that really made me start to question exactly what reality is... I know when somethings real right, cause I can prove it, "pinch me" LOL being the perfect example. But what if everything we've ever known to be true is just a definition constructed by the society we live in. One great example of this is gender. A girl loves pink a boy loves blue, if a boy loves pink its girly, if a girl loves boy shes a tomboy...Why? Because someone somewhere said so, just like it was the "in" colors of a fashion season, who says orange is soooo yesturday or jumpsuits are so last year. Who decides, who is in control? Why am I not in control? isn't it my life or theirs?
My grandmother would always tell me one thing when I was a little girl "the prince is not coming" this is something that has been proven over and over for thousands of women, no? I wonder if we don't set ourselves up for disappointment...It begins with those fairytales, society's version of the perfect man, adonis like gorgeous, goose bumps, romantic sweep you off you feet, harlequin romance, yada yada. We set men up, compare them to an image that maybe we don't even WANT!!! and then we wonder why it didn't work or love doesn't exsist. Another sceniorio is we have this image in our heads but then there is that scary thought that he may never come so we settle for something less, only to think about and its the root problem in the relationship as you slowly maybe subconsiously pick at everything you think is wrong with him. I once heard on a radio show that relationships tend to work better when one partner is better looking then the other. Isn't that the saddest thing you've ever heard in your life, besides cancer, diseases, sick people, old people, child abuse, and the holocaust of course. I mean we thrive on being better and one up so much that we need it in our relationships, or one person has to be dependent, or you need someone to feel grateful that they're with you? WHAT? This is the confusion jumble of thoughts that run through my head, I've decided that or hope that reality may bite but I want my life to stay a mystery...
My grandmother would always tell me one thing when I was a little girl "the prince is not coming" this is something that has been proven over and over for thousands of women, no? I wonder if we don't set ourselves up for disappointment...It begins with those fairytales, society's version of the perfect man, adonis like gorgeous, goose bumps, romantic sweep you off you feet, harlequin romance, yada yada. We set men up, compare them to an image that maybe we don't even WANT!!! and then we wonder why it didn't work or love doesn't exsist. Another sceniorio is we have this image in our heads but then there is that scary thought that he may never come so we settle for something less, only to think about and its the root problem in the relationship as you slowly maybe subconsiously pick at everything you think is wrong with him. I once heard on a radio show that relationships tend to work better when one partner is better looking then the other. Isn't that the saddest thing you've ever heard in your life, besides cancer, diseases, sick people, old people, child abuse, and the holocaust of course. I mean we thrive on being better and one up so much that we need it in our relationships, or one person has to be dependent, or you need someone to feel grateful that they're with you? WHAT? This is the confusion jumble of thoughts that run through my head, I've decided that or hope that reality may bite but I want my life to stay a mystery...
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Me.
Dear ---.
Blank.
Blank.
Blank.
Blank.
The words just aren't coming to me.
I am disappointed.
I expected to much.
Blank.
Wall.
SLAM.!
I am a surprised by its durability.
I thought it would be like a tepe or the little pig's house made of straw one good huf (spell ck) and it's gone. Nope turns out your made of stronger stuff. Hey did you know that black panthers have spots, I didn't they have the most beautiful fur.
How bout we play a little game to waste some space, paperless of course I care for the environment, hey can you imagine the day when we have to stop littering the internet...anyway back to the game...
Sexy men that you would like to have fun with.....
Hugh Jackman (expecially in Wolverine) super sexy
The guy sitting next to you (no he's not attractive that's okay paper bags were made for a reason but remember recycle use it on the next guy)
What is attraction exactly where does it come from, what about chemistry, or butterflies, and goosebumps. Hey fun fact according to Wiki, piloerection aka Goosebumps is also known to be a rare symptom for brain tumors, temporal lobe epilepsy, autonomic hyperreflexia. So it could be that your not attracted to that hot guy next to you, you just have a brain tumor with only six months to live, so I suggest next time you get them see a doctor, just kidding lets not be hypochondriacs here. But if you do have the brain tumor let's take advantage of your goosebumps...hey have you ever heard of sympathetic pregnancy? It's what I want my husband to get, in fact he has to guarentee me that he will otherwise this vagina is not procreating. I could just see it, it would be the highlight of my life, he in case you didn't know gets all the symptoms of my prego state. Even the boobs and contractions, oh yeah. However he doesn't get to feel his vagina rip open, but maybe his own man parts will feel pain, yet another plus. I've gone off track from our game
Next on the list is Jacob from Twilight well I can tell you now why I want to jump his bones, have you seen the scene in New Moon when the rain is dripping down his bodies. Parched that's what I was he was the only source of water left on earth, not surprising with todays rate of water pollution. However, why do I feel that pull for his paticular body type? society? media? Well the thought is so ingrained I might as well embrace it and remember that by doing so I am also encouraging the return behavior from the male species in their choice of women/attraction.
What about personality, gotta tell you makes up for alot if you can make me laugh, what about guys? What do you like? IDK, hey I see that I have an obsession for relationship talk so I promise in the next blog I will try to surpress this and talk of something else, like how cute squirrel monkey's are.
Blank.
Blank.
Blank.
Blank.
The words just aren't coming to me.
I am disappointed.
I expected to much.
Blank.
Wall.
SLAM.!
I am a surprised by its durability.
I thought it would be like a tepe or the little pig's house made of straw one good huf (spell ck) and it's gone. Nope turns out your made of stronger stuff. Hey did you know that black panthers have spots, I didn't they have the most beautiful fur.
How bout we play a little game to waste some space, paperless of course I care for the environment, hey can you imagine the day when we have to stop littering the internet...anyway back to the game...
Sexy men that you would like to have fun with.....
Hugh Jackman (expecially in Wolverine) super sexy
The guy sitting next to you (no he's not attractive that's okay paper bags were made for a reason but remember recycle use it on the next guy)
What is attraction exactly where does it come from, what about chemistry, or butterflies, and goosebumps. Hey fun fact according to Wiki, piloerection aka Goosebumps is also known to be a rare symptom for brain tumors, temporal lobe epilepsy, autonomic hyperreflexia. So it could be that your not attracted to that hot guy next to you, you just have a brain tumor with only six months to live, so I suggest next time you get them see a doctor, just kidding lets not be hypochondriacs here. But if you do have the brain tumor let's take advantage of your goosebumps...hey have you ever heard of sympathetic pregnancy? It's what I want my husband to get, in fact he has to guarentee me that he will otherwise this vagina is not procreating. I could just see it, it would be the highlight of my life, he in case you didn't know gets all the symptoms of my prego state. Even the boobs and contractions, oh yeah. However he doesn't get to feel his vagina rip open, but maybe his own man parts will feel pain, yet another plus. I've gone off track from our game
Next on the list is Jacob from Twilight well I can tell you now why I want to jump his bones, have you seen the scene in New Moon when the rain is dripping down his bodies. Parched that's what I was he was the only source of water left on earth, not surprising with todays rate of water pollution. However, why do I feel that pull for his paticular body type? society? media? Well the thought is so ingrained I might as well embrace it and remember that by doing so I am also encouraging the return behavior from the male species in their choice of women/attraction.
What about personality, gotta tell you makes up for alot if you can make me laugh, what about guys? What do you like? IDK, hey I see that I have an obsession for relationship talk so I promise in the next blog I will try to surpress this and talk of something else, like how cute squirrel monkey's are.
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